BGPR gets Wet, gets Wood

May 26th 2008

Round one of the CMRA 2008 season was a soggy affair but not wet enough to dampen the spirits of Team BGPR Schools, who persevered through the puddles and kicked off the season with a splash!

Head instructor and team patriarch Brad, the “BG” in BGPR, put on a hell of a show, scoring what is now officially referred to as the “Gavey Hat-trick”, consisting of a crash, a win, and a DNF!

After some impressive times in practice, number 17 Brad “Gravey Train” Gavey came out strong in the Heavyweight Superbike race, dicing it up and eventually overtaking team-mate and hetero life-partner number 15 Mitch “Rat” Rathje before running out of talent and tossing his big heavy slow Honda into the weeds in turn 6. Thinking that he could use his super-human strength to save it, Brad reached under the mammoth Honda and smashed his ham-like right hand into smithereens. The ensuing red flag ended the race but Brad soldiered on, picking up his busted bike and riding it back to the pits. This was apparently good enough for 5th place.

Rat, who may or may not have broken his hip when he crashed on Wednesday at the BGPR School, pushed through the pain and brought his R1 home to a 6th place finish.

After he and Benny hurriedly fixed his CBR1000RR with a hammer, vise-grips, bits of duct tape, and Elmers white glue, Brad defended an assault from the number 34 Buell 1125R of Willie Geczi and fought him off for the win, busted hand, buggered bike and all. Brad tried to pull a victory wheelie, but the Honda was too heavy and too slow, so he came back to the pits and scarfed a cheeseburger of victory.

Later on in the Superbike race, Brad retired early, citing a broken front brake lever, and a long lever, not one of those lame squid short ones that only lame squids use. He was later seen eating a cheeseburger of shame. This completed the hat-trick.

Mitch “Rat” Rathje, who apparently inspects his racebike before racing it, did not bust his brake and finished with a solid 6th, which if he’s not careful could become known as “Mitchth place”.

The lovely ladies of the BGPR team impressed everyone with their speed, control, and sportsmanship.

Jennifer “Fish” Salmon, running her number 55 Honda in her first ever time on a wet track, showed skill and poise, running a consistent and smooth race and finishing 5th place in the morning novice event. That fish can swim! In the afternoon race, she was involved in an incident with another rider and crashed in turn 4, aggravating an old injury and ending her day. She showed true grit and sportsmanship, writing off the incident as “hey that’s racing” and not uttering a peep of displeasure. Just kidding she was friggin pissed. Watch out for her in Round 2!

Mandy “Midge” McKay chain-smoked 3 consecutive cartons of cigarettes and missed the first novice race, but entered the afternoon event and what she later referred to as “the most terrifying thing I have ever done”. As with Fish, this was Midge’s first ever time riding on a wet race track, but she beat her demons and brought her number 8 Honda home unscathed ahead of 3 other racers, who were probably not nearly as terrified as she was.

Taylor “The Tan” King AKA “Prettyboy” made his roadracing debut this weekend. Because of weather concerns, Taylor was not able to perfect the bronze glow of his handsome face and pectoral muscles, but in spite of that disappointment, and about 29 last-minute tire changes, he was able to ride his pristine number 82 CBR600RR and colour-coordinated suit to second and first-place novice finishes, respectively. The Tan was too stupid and vain to pre-register for the amateur races so he didn’t get to race for points, but he will be back for round 2, and may or may not be seen taking his shirt off. His Honda remained in pristine condition until it fell over in his molester van on the way home.

Chris “Skippy” Trickett AKA “Junior” showed up with no tent and no ramp, and attempted to unload his number 87 Yamaha R1 from his enormous Dodge truck using a wet two-by-six. With no spare wheels, he did not have time to re-install his rain tires after switching them out in the morning and entered the first novice race on DOT race rubber, sliding all over the place and biffing it on the first lap in the chicane, rupturing his Yamaha tinfoil fuel tank and ending his day. At only 17 years old, Skippy showed great maturity and remained in high spirits. He can’t wait for round 2 and promises to bring a tent. Skippy had some serious speed at the last BGPR school and will make a fine roadracer.

So it was a great weekend for BGPR, and we couldn’t have done it without a lot of help from our friends. Benny and Rich from Redline Motorsports were a god-send, and we have to give a big shout out to the HardNox racers and crew. Trayr, Rob, Curdo, Claude, Colin… we couldn’t ask for a better bunch of guys in the paddock. And of course we can’t leave out Parts Canada, Pirelli Tires and Angus Macneil for all their support.

Take it to the Track and we’ll see you in round 2!

And don’t miss the track night this Sunday, June 1st